Dear God

 

Your hands are the ocean in which we swim. They are deep, wide and full of life. One man could spend his life time swimming and swimming and never find the end. The oceans are your perpetual love for us. They are always there, they are always moving, but only certain people will take the chance and dive in.
I have spent the last year looking for the shore. I did not float however I felt as though I were sinking, I was breathing but only water was filling my lungs. Your hands were not supporting me, rather, they were crushing me and I blamed by inability to stay afloat on you.
Our relationship was crumbling. I was the ship you swallowed. I was the lives that were lost in your waters and I hated you God. I blamed you.When I ran out of people to blame, when I lost all hope in the people whos innocence struck me like a bolt of lightening I turned to the one who was left and that was you. It had to be your fault, no one else can control death, no one else creates paths for those to follow, it had to be you.But it wasn’t your fault, it was not anyones misdeed, however it was simply her time. She was not particularity religious, but I know that you reached out. You grabbed her as she was slipping away, you did not take her, you saved her.You gave her the chance to stay with us, and watch me grow and for that I will forever love you.
I should not have gone near the waters until I knew how to swim. I could not understand because I was blinded by the pain, but now it is beautifully painful. I grieve over her loss, but I know she is happy. You took her back to the ocean with you, and now she is swimming with the angels.

 

Yours Truly

Karling Donoghue